It's All Johnny's Fault
It was bad enough that Bush defeated Kerry by a single vote in the state of Ohio. But now I have caught wind of a nasty and true rumor that our good friend from that very state (not to be confused with Andy) failed to vote in this year's presidential election. Johnny, I'm gonna be honest with you on this one: it's all your fault! How could you? I recognize and hope that this will not happen, but should the draft be implemented in the next four years, I will do everything in my power to make sure that Johnny is the first to go.